Editor’s note: Back by popular demand, it’s Kyle’s wife, Amanda Kosior, providing one woman’s take on the NHL. Take it away Amanda.
I married a guy who knows everything that a person could possibly know about hockey. Rules, plays, facts, stats, names of high school sweethearts – whatever you need, Kyle has it. He’s always the first to be picked when we play Trivial Pursuit.
I, on the other hand, can’t name off all 30 teams in the NHL. It’s not for lack of trying, but I have a lot of stuff crammed in my head (like how to make hotdish and the last 3 numbers of my license plate), and there just isn’t any more room for things like the name of the goalie for the winning team at the Stanley Cup last year. Thank goodness for the Internet.
Fortunately, although my noggin is seemingly full, there is a teeny-tiny spot that allows me to identify and store an endless number hot guys, and then later replace them with even hotter guys, without disrupting the rest of my knowledge base. Hockey players make up a good portion of this spot for several reasons: 1) hockey is a rough sport, which means big, rough guys, which is exactly my flavor; 2) all that skating around leads to tight little tushies; 3) hockey players are always sweaty and, for some creepy reason, sports sweat is sexy; and 4) I have yet to personally meet an asshole hockey guy – they are, on the general whole, nice, decent boys.
So, when Kyle asked me to put together my list of Top 5 Hottest players in the Stanley Cup Finals, I felt up to the challenge.
In fact, I made it a Top 6 list (I’m edgy). Here it goes:
1. Jonathan Ericsson, #52, Detroit: The Red Wings have an uncomfortable number of international players, which may be why there is an uncomfortable amount of long-haired dudes on the team. Jonathan is no exception. Barring the need for a haircut, Jonathan is big, burly hunk of Swedish meatball. Plus, he’s 6’4” and I love the tall guys…especially when they are defensemen.
2. Sidney Crosby, #87, Pittsburgh: I know, Sidney is too obvious of a choice. He’s also like 10 years old, which makes me a semi-pedophile for putting him on the list. And his playoff beard looks like someone drew on his cheeks with a brown magic marker (leave the beard-growing to the big boys, Sidney). But he’s so ridiculously, insanely good, and he is a Canadian cutie-patootie (I heart Canadians, which is why I married one), and so on the list he goes.
3. Ty Conklin, #29, Detroit: I can’t believe I have 2 goalies on this list, because goalies are the odd ducks of the hockey world. However, Detroit happens to have 2 hottie goalies, and so I am begrudgingly putting them both on here. I like Ty for a number of reasons: he’s 33, so he’s a grown-up; he’s from Alaska (one of my girlfriends moved to Alaska solely for the men…which is as desperate as it sounds); and he has that little boy smile that works on a lot of levels. Kyle wanted me to leave him off the list because Ty lost Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals for the Oilers in 2006, but quality of game and good looks don’t always go hand-in-hand in hockey (just ask Carrie Underwood).
4. Danny Cleary, #11, Detroit: Have you ever seen the show “30 Rock?” I think Danny looks just like the character Dennis Duffy. I keep expecting him to look at the camera and say, “Hiya, dummy.” I have to assume he has a touch o’ the Irish in him (even though he’s Canadian) with that red hair. I dig the gingers.
5. Chris Osgood, #30, Detroit: I’d like to take this opportunity to say that I’m rooting for Pittsburgh to win the Stanley Cup, which means that I hope Chris Osgood has the four worst games of his season coming up. And when he’s crying into his goalie mitt, I’ll be thinking, “Man, that guy is good-looking.” If you are detecting a trend with this 30-something-Canadian thing I have going on, you’re on the right track.
6. Kris Letang, #58, Pittsburgh: Oh, Kris Letang. Why are you so young? Why are you so French? Why are you so damn cute?
PS – I know, I know, I was supposed to pick Jordan Staal. He just doesn’t do it for me. Sorry. I’m not really that sorry, though, because there are a million women out there who would drop their panties at the very mention of him, so I assume he’s doing just fine without the inclusion on my list.
For Illegal Curve, I’m Amanda Kosior