Hockey fans know that it is right about now when drafts are going on, pool orders are set and ranking lists are all over the house. So, we may as well talk about the most common poolie practice. You know, the one where you see a buddy and he starts talking to you about his hockey pool. He says his team has had a bunch of injuries, but he can’t believe how well his 8th round defenseman has produced for him this season.
Here is an example of how that conversation usually goes:
Person 1: “How you doing in your pool?”
Person 2: “Well, I’m pretty happy with my team so far. So long as Kariya can stay healthy and Bryan McCabe has a bounce back season, I should hopefully compete for the title.”
Person 1: “Oh that’s cool. Who else you got on your team?”
Person 2: “I took Thornton in the first round but couldn’t believe that I somehow nabbed Hossa in round two. I mean, that guy produces each and every year. How the heck did he fall that far?”
So that’s an example of the textual conversation between person 1 and person 2. It usually goes on for a couple more minutes but we’ll stop there.
Now, here is what Person 1 is actually thinking while Person 2 is talking.
Person 1: “How you doing in your pool?” Translation: Please quickly talk about your team so I am able to talk about my team; because, to be honest, that is all I really care about.
Person 2: “Well, I’m pretty happy with my team so far. So long as Kariya can stay healthy and Bryan McCabe has a bounce back season, I should hopefully compete for the title.”
What Person 1 really heard: “Blah, blah, blah, when is it my chance to talk about my team? I am never going to remember who is on your team; we aren’t even in the same pool.”
Person 1: “Oh that’s cool. Who else you got on your team?” Translation: Please make this quick, I need to rant about Erik Johnson’s freak injury to somebody!
Person 2: “Well, I’m pretty happy with my team so far. So long as Kariya can stay healthy and Bryan McCabe has a bounce back season, I should hopefully compete for the title.”
What Person 1 really heard: “That’s great. Is it time for me to talk about my team now? If it isn’t, I’m going to have to walk away.”
The above exchange is an example of the “now that you have told me about your team, let me tell you a little bit about my team” theory.
Over the years I have participated in a fair number of pools including non-hockey sports and this happens to me all the time. People ask me about my teams but I can see about five seconds into the conversation that they are waiting for my lips to stop moving. Let’s be real, that’s fantasy sports for you. This doesn’t happen when you chat about how an actual NHL team is faring on the ice or which player your favourite team should trade for. That’s because you both care about the same thing. You are both informed about the topic being discussed. When it comes to pools, you don’t know anything about the other person’s team and it probably doesn’t affect you in the least.
So when you are talking about your fantasy team this season, be sure to use the line: “Now that you’ve told me about your team, let me tell you a little bit about my team.”
