Over the years, the channel evolved into Headline Sports (aka the Mark Hebscher era), and didn’t have a license to show any televised sports, or highlights from TSN!  And then finally, came The Score (first featuring a white ticker, then the dark one we are accustomed to today).  Now comes news that a format change is upon us…great.

You can read all about it here.

Specifically, Hardcore Hockey Talk is gonzo.  Although Steve Kouleas gets annoying, he still knows his stuff.  Steve Ludzik and Mark Osborne on the other hand…yikes.  More importantly, The Score Tonight is also being taken off the air.  It’s too bad, as the co-hosts Tim Micallef and Sid Seixeiro are one of the funnier late night duos.  Just to be clear, the aforementioned on-air personalities are being re-assigned.  The same can’t be said for longtime employee Tony Ambrogio, the king of voice-overs, who was laid-off.

The head honcho at The Score claims to want to tailor programming towards the 18-34 demographic, and thus include more behind the scenes action that can be seen on Deadspin and TMZ, while also increasing humorous elements on the channel.  The Score brass is really missing the mark as to why this (and my) demographic tune in…and believe me it’s not for “fluff” shows like Branded.  Besides the 24/7 ticker, the fact that I can tune into highlights at almost any given time (BoDog Fights aside) is the network’s bread and butter.  Don’t get me wrong, Cabbie and Gerry Dee are funny, but it’s not the reason I subscribe to the channel.  The Score may have second thoughts about these decisions once bars/restaurants start putting on TSN or Sportsnet, instead of seeing an interview between Gerry Dee and some random Mixed Martial Arts fighter.

Maybe in all this mess, they will bring back Deb Matejicka.

From the “what the $#%& is happening here?” category, was Gord Miller actually calling a Saturday afternoon CFL on TSN game between the Riders and Eskies the other day?  What, was Suneel Joshi not available?  To say that Gord’s off-season workout plan is working, would be along the lines of saying that Dany Heatley deserved that signing bonus.  As always, Gord in HD is scary.

As Illegal Curve linked to previously, our friends at Puck The Media have provided a likely NHL on TSN schedule for this year.  Which got me thinking about RDS’ lineup of games, for those in Canada.  Looking back at games shown on RDS HD last year on NHL.com, you can see that there are a TON of games shown.  For only a couple of bucks a month to get both RDS and RDS HD, Canadian viewers might want to consider  adding this programming into their mix, for two reasons.  One, if you are a Habs fan you get every Habs game in HD, plus the odd Monday night Versus game and the odd Sens game.  Two, RDS HD has one of the clearest pictures out there, and beats the HD Versus games simulcasted on TSN2 hands down.

Another interesting item that’s happened recently is ErinAndrewsGate.  Did you know that Andrews got her start as a sideline reporter for the Lightning on the Sunshine Network, and then for the Thrashers on Turner South?  In case you missed it, someone got a video of her changing in a hotel room and put it on YouTube.  The most intriguing part of all this, is that the video has actually been online for months, and only recently caught wind when Deadspin linked to it.  Since then, Deadspin has taken down the link and issued and apology.  We at Illegal Curve generally shy away from being a paparazzi-esque website, and provide real news.  Jason Whitlock from FoxSports writes an interesting article about all of this here.

A few things I want to point out.  First of all, making these line combos has pretty much been the best day of my summer thus far, as the talent is just ridiculous.  Secondly, since there is obviously a large number of centres, a few players had to be shifted to wing to accommodate.  Finally, picking 13 of the 25 players was surprisingly somewhat of an easy task, with only a few players that I was wavering on.  You’ll see below…

Forward candidates: Jeff Carter, Dan Cleary, Sidney Crosby, Shane Doan, Simon Gagné, Ryan Getzlaf, Dany Heatley, Jarome Iginla, Vincent Lecavalier, Milan Lucic, Patrick Marleau, Andy McDonald, Brenden Morrow, Rick Nash, Corey Perry, Mike Richards, Derek Roy, Patrick Sharp, Joe Sakic, Ryan Smyth, Martin St-Louis, Eric Staal, Jordan Staal, Joe Thornton, Jonathan Toews

Line 1: Rick Nash (LW), Ryan Getzlaf (C), Dany Heatley (moved to RW)

It was hard to truly define a top line, but only on Team Canada would it not feature Sid The Kid.  I initially did have Crosby here instead of Heatley, but after a round table discussion with a few of the IC contributors, we thought that this line would probably be kept together after dominating at the Worlds previously.  Oh, and @#&$ you Heatley.

Line 2: Simon Gagné (LW), Sidney Crosby (C), Jarome Iginla (RW)

Here we go with Crosby…Crosby and Iggy will form a nice 1-2 punch, with Sid dishing and Iggy popping them in.  I had to include Gagné on this line, given his previous chemistry with Iginla in 2002.

Line 3: Eric Staal (moved to LW), Vincent Lecavalier (C), Martin St-Louis (RW)

Vinny C. and St-Louis are a package deal, and when put with Staal should form a nice third unit.  Staal should have no problem adjusting to wing, given his great skating.

Line 4 (Grind Line): Brenden Morrow (LW), Mike Richards (C), Shane Doan (moved to RW)

This grind line practically made itself, and the only question mark is really Morrow, as he missed almost all of the 2008-09 season.  Should he have a weak start to the season, Ryan Smyth or Patrick Sharp could take his spot.

Spare: Joe Thornton (C)

Thornton is on this team, but I’m not rushing to put him into the lineup.  It’s nice to have a player like Thornton’s caliber ready to jump in.  At first I had Staal as the spare instead of Joe, but Thornton’s lack of a 2-way game hurts him.

Players who did not make the cut:

Jeff Carter

Carter had a great season last year, but one season does not suffice.  Remember, he was this close to being a Maple Leaf.  And remember my policy of Maple Leafs being included on this team…

Dan Cleary

Is this some sort of sick joke?

Milan Lucic

Lucic’s claim to fame is that he has somewhat of a cult following…he’s just not good enough in any aspects of his game to make this team.

Patrick Marleau

Sorry, we only have enough room for one underachieving Shark forward on our bandwagon.

Andy McDonald

McDonald is decent, but I still can’t believe he was invited to this camp over Marc Savard.

Corey Perry

To quote that late 1980s PSA (for possibly drug awareness or drinking and driving): “I considered it, and then I said no.”  Putting Perry on this team to play with Getzlaf would be a good move, but there are just better players available.

Derek Roy

A good too-way centre, but not great.

Patrick Sharp

Could be added for Morrow, but not likely.

Joe Sakic

He needs to come out of retirement, purely for selfish Bob Cole reasons.

Ryan Smyth

Father time is not working in Captain Canada’s favour.

Jordan Staal

If Jordan makes this team, we might as well add parents Henry and Linda for crying out loud.

Jonathan Toews

Leaving Toews off was a tough one, but his time will come.  Two seasons of 54 and 69 points means there is still room for improvement.

Defense Candidates: Francois Beauchemin, Jay Bouwmeester, Dan Boyle, Brent Burns, Drew Doughty, Mike Green, Dan Hamhuis, Duncan Keith, Scott Niedermayer, Dion Phaneuf, Chris Pronger, Robyn Regehr, Stephane Robidas, Brent Seabrook, Marc Staal, Shea Weber.

Starting Pairings (plus one):

Pronger-Niedermayer

This pairing was pretty much automatic, as both Pronger and Niedermayer have been staples of Team Canada’s blueline for many years now.  With both having Cup rings, their veteran and leadership presence will be important on a young team.  Let’s just hope Niedermayer wants to play; remember he declined his invite in 2006.

Weber-Bouwmeester

Another pairing that was almost automatic.  Weber’s booming shot will be a great asset with the man advantage, and Bouwmeester’s skating is arguably the best in the world.  Too bad this tournament isn’t on the big Olympic ice.

Phaneuf-Regehr

The defensive minded Regehr will be paired with Phaneuf to keep him in check, and cover for him when he pinches in for a big hit or play at the blueline.  With Regehr being the only true stay-at-home defenseman on Team Canada, he will be relied upon heavily when protecting a lead.  Phaneuf on the other hand is polar opposite, and will be let loose when an offensive boost is needed.  Phaneuf’s regression this past season is somewhat troublesome, so look for Yzerman & Co to possibly put Mike Green on instead, should Phaneuf have another poor start to the season.

Boyle

This last spot was a toss up between Boyle and Keith.  Keith is the better skater and slightly better defensively, while Boyle brings more offense to the table.  On a very young team, especially on the blueline, Boyle’s Cup experience is the reason why he is on this team.

Who didn’t make the cut:

Mike Green

A glaring omission from this team is Mike Green.  As mentioned above, the decision will come down to either Phaneuf or Green.  Both bring similar games, with Green having more offensive upside, and Phaneuf having the more physical upside.  That being said, between all the other D on this team, there will be enough offense to go around that Green can be spared.

Duncan Keith

Leaving Keith off was a tough one, but his time will eventually come.  His Stanley Cup playoff performance was OK, but not amazing (despite him being quite sick), so a few more years and he will be ready.

Stephane Robidas

If broken noses were the only measurement for making this team, Robidas would be the Captain.  A warrior on the blueline for Dallas the past couple of years, Robidas isn’t nearly talented enough to make this squad.

Drew Doughty

A bit too young/raw at the moment.

Marc Staal

Almost there, but not quite yet.

Brent Seabrook

Despite playing great in the playoffs, Team Canada can do better.

Dan Hamhuis

Good, but not great.

Brent Burns

Going into last season, Burns looked like he would make the cut.  Unfortunately, a few concussions and playing wing this past season didn’t help his chances.  He could MAYBE replace Boyle providing he has a great first half of next season, but it’s doubtful at this point.

Francois Beauchemin

As a rule of thumb, no Maple Leafs will be on this team.  Sorry Mike Van Ryn fans.

Next week’s article will examine the projected forwards for Team Canada.

This week, I will go over the three goalies that will make the squad.

Goalie Candidates: Martin Brodeur, M-A Fleury, Roberto Luongo, Steve Mason, Cam Ward

Starting Goalie 1A: Martin Brodeur

Simply put, this job is Brodeur’s to lose, even though Luongo has been better of late (not really a fair comparison since Brodeur was injured almost all of last year).  Brodeur was the backbone of the 2002 Gold Medal winning team, plus the 2004 World Cup starter, and has done nothing to relinquish the starting job.  Let’s hope we don’t see another scenario like 2002 where Cujo was swapped for Brodeur after a loss during the first game to Sweden.  Looking back in time, how on Earth was Cujo the starter over Brodeur anyways?  Oh that’s right, then Leafs coach Pat Quinn was behind the bench for Canada at the time.

Starting Goalie 1B: Roberto Luongo

Should Broduer falter during Canada’s first game, look for Luongo to get the nod for the next one.  Although the pressure will be insurmountable playing in the Canucks’ barn, Team Canada has the best tandem in all of the Olympics.  Unless of course, Tommy Salo and Tommy Soderstrom play for Sweden this year.

Third Stinger: Cam Ward

Halfway through this past season, Steve Mason was viewed in many circles as the third goalie on the team.  Since then, Ward played out of his mind for the Canes playing almost every remaining regular season game, and lead his team to the Conference Finals in the Playoffs.  With a Cup and a Conn Smythe already under is belt, Ward has proven that he could step in and play well should disaster strike.

Steve Mason – not selected

If Mason has a crazy first half of the upcoming season, Stevie Y and friends could very well pick him as the third goalie.  After all, recall this was pretty much the same situation with Iginla in 2002 – he was a late injury replacement invite to training camp, had a sick start to the 2001-2002 season, and subsequently was chosen to the team.  If Mason is clearly playing far superior to Ward, then fine.  But the one thing that I don’t buy is to just put Mason on the team to “gain experience on an international stage.”

M-A Fleury – not selected

Fleury isn’t on this team for the same rationale as leaving Mason off – Ward is the better goalie.  Like I said above, if the Pens are undefeated at the time the team is announced, look for Fleury to get the last spot, but overall Ward is fudamentally better.

Next week I will break down the defenceman.  Stay tuned!

(1) Marian Hossa, Detroit. 2008-09 Salary: $7.4 mil

Despite the fact that he more or less was a dud in the playoffs – especially the finals – Hossa will still be the hot market item come July 1st.  Since he will likely ask for at least $6 mil per year, the Wings may have a hard time squeezing him into their plans.  Here’s a unique idea: maybe he will sign with the defending Cup champs for 1 year, prove his worth, and give him the best chance to win a Cup.

(2) Daniel Sedin, Vancouver. 2008-09 Salary: $3.5 mil

Guaranteed 80 points and 82 games played, rumour has it that Daniel will be playing in TO, being reunited with Burke and Nonis.  Stay tuned.

(3) Henrik Sedin, Vancouver. 2008-09 Salary: $3.5 mil

Guaranteed 80 points and 82 games played, rumour has it that Henrik….well you get the idea.

(4) Martin Havlat, Chicago. 2008-09 Salary: $6 mil

At this time last year, there was no way on Earth Chicago would want Havlat to play on the Rockford IceHogs, let alone the Blackhawks.  But after a very productive season leading the Hawks in scoring, Chicago wants to retain the speedy forward.  The problem will be how they can afford to do so, with some many RFA’s coming up this year (Barker, Bolland, Vertseeg) plus Toews, Kane, and Keith being RFA’s next year.

(5) Jay Bouwmeester, Florida. 2008-09 Salary: $4.8 mil

Definitely the top defenseman available, Bouwmeester will get $7 mil plus per season.  Kiss Florida good-bye.  The Oilers have also been rumoured, but they already have a lot of talent on D.

(6) Marian Gaborik, Minnesota. 2008-09 Salary: $7.5 mil

Some how I have a feeling the Rangers could sign this groin injury waiting to happen…that is if they can send Redden to the AHL and be off the books for his salary.

(7) Scott Niedermayer, Anaheim. 2008-09 Salary: $6.7 mil

Not trading Niedermayer at this past Trade Deadline could cost the Ducks if Scotty walks or chooses to hang ‘em up.  A decision could also be based his sibling Rob’s decision, but either way expect some news regarding these Hilton sisters this summer.

(8) Mike Cammalleri, Calgary. 2008-09 Salary: $3.6 mil

Cammalleri proved to be great value for his salary last season, and he will be looking to cash in this off-season.  Calgary would be smart to try and retain his services, given his ability to the play the point on the powerplay and play either a first or second line role.

(9) Mike Komisarek, Montreal. 2008-09 Salary: $1.9 mil

Guaranteed he signs for waaaay more than he’s worth.  A good stay-at-home D, but absolutely no offensive instincts.  Sounds like a perfect Maple Leaf to me.

(10) Alex Tanguay, Montreal. 2008-09 Salary: $5.3 mil

$5 mil is a lot to pay for someone who has bounced around the league at such a young age and with an extensive history of injuries.

Honourable Mentions:
Saku Koivu, Montreal. 2008-09 Salary: $4.7 mil.  Rumoured to go to the Wild to play with younger bro Mikko.

Alex Kovalev, Montreal. 2008-09 Salary: $4.5 mil.  Does he care about hockey anymore these days?

Nikolai Khabibulin, Chicago. 2008-09 Salary: $6.7 mil.  Probably no room under the Hawks’ cap for him.

Mats Sundin, Vancouver. 2008-09 Salary: $8.6 mil.  He has said no to Sweden, but the Canucks could still be a possibility.

Joe Sakic, Colorado. 2008-09 Salary: $6.0 mil.  It’s either one more kick at the can for the Avs, or a likely role in their front office.

Mattias Ohlund, Vancouver. 2008-09 Salary: $3.5 mil.  No way Vancouver can re-sign him, especially if the Twins and Mats are retained.

Oh Dany, or Daniel if that is your real name, why do you continue to mock me?  We had such high hopes from you coming to the Sens in a blockbuster deal once the lockout ended.  Although your skating was just a hair better than Jason Spezza’s, we still cut you some slack since you managed to keep finding the back of the net 50 times each year – that is until this past season.

Although initially seen as a minor bump in the road, you were moved to the second powerplay unit by coach Clouston, and wouldn’t you know it we started winning a few more games?  Only for reality to set in shortly after, when we were officially eliminated from playoff contention.  But to go all Alexei Yashin on us, and refuse to play on our team again?  I didn’t see that one coming.  I think you’ve been hanging out with the Lindros’ too much lately.

If this situation turns out in our favour as the Yashin situation did, well then thank you. We were ever so lucky to fleece then-Isles GM Mike Milbury in that deal, but to think we will be able to get talent equivalent to a first rounder (Spezza) AND Chara for your crybaby attitude – think again.  You have put Bryan Murray in such a situation by making your trade demands public, that he cannot possibly come out on top.

When you first arrived in Hot-Lanta, you were immediately put on the point on the powerplay, with quartbacking instincts that are quite rare amongst forwards.  Then came that unfortunate summer day of the accident, and your knee has never been the same since.  I dared to dream that these skills would somehow manage to re-surface in our nation’s capital.  I can’t blame you for demanding out of Atlanta after the horrific incident; a change of scenery was definitely needed.  But to pull the same crybaby stunt to get out of Ottawa because you had second powerplay duties?  Maybe you should have started playing better than Jesse Winchester.  Ever think about that one?

Sure, the names of Frolov, O’Sullivan, and Marleau have been tossed around, but c’mon, how could we possible get back someone of your POTENTIAL.  I guess the only silver lining in this whole situation is that Hossa really layed an egg in the finals this year.

Have fun on the West Coast away from hockey’s limelight.  Let me know if you can now make the first PP unit.

Sincerely,

The Sens Army
A.k.a. one distraught Illegal Curve contributor

(10) 1989, Lanny McDonald vs. Montreal

The call: “Scores!  Lanny McDonald.”

Still a young pup at this point in time, Cole was just getting warmed up.

(9) 1999, Brett Hull vs. Buffalo

The call: “Scoores!  Mike Modano!”  (Yes that’s right, he did say Modano. Most awkward call ever?)

It’s not a Bob Cole game, without a blatant mistake.

(8) 1993, Eric Desjardins vs. LA

(scroll to 1:20 mark)

The call “Desjardins!  And the Canadiens win in overtime.”

Would Cole have been able to top his performance had the Leafs ended up playing the Habs, instead of the Kings?

(7) 1997, Todd Marchant vs. Edmonton

The call: “Marchant…..SCOOOOORRRES!”

(6) 1999, Steve Yzerman vs. Detroit

The call: “Yzerman Scores!  Detroit wins the game.”

(5) 1993, Canadiens win the Cup

The call: “THE CANADIENS WIN THE STANLEY CUP!”

Finally Bob’s secret devotion to the Habs comes out.

(4) 2002, Mats Sundin vs. Carolina

The call: “And the place goes crazy!”

This clip made the cut not because of the game, but based on the ever-so famous catch phrase that Cole always uses.

(3) 1991, Mario Lemieux vs. Minnesota

The call: “What a goal.  What a move.  Lemieux.  Oh baby.”

The “Oh Baby” gets me every time.

(2) 1998, Brendan Shanahan vs. Czech Republic

(scroll to 8:30 mark)

The call: “No.”

Unfortuatenly this call from Cole rang through Canadian’s minds for four straight years.  Until…

(1) 2002, Joe Sakic vs. Team USA

(you can scroll to 3:00 mark, but I suggest watching the entire clip several times)

The call: “Joe Sakic….SCORES!  JOOOOOOOE SAKIC”

Nothing tops his excitment during this call.  Nothing. I just cried. Again.

1989 – Quebec: Mats Sundin C Nacka (Sweden)

Who they passed up: Sergei Fedorov (74th), Nicklas Lidstrom (53rd), Pavel Bure (113th)

Other interesting thoughts: Remember how hyped-up the Rangers’ Steven Rice was (20th overall)?  I think I still have his Pro Set hockey card somewhere

1990 – Quebec: Owen Nolan R Cornwall Royals [OHL]

Who they passed up: Jaromir Jagr (5th), Keith Tkachuk (19th), Doug Weight (34th)

Other interesting thoughts: Steal of the draft has to be Bondra (156th overall).  Note that Calgary took Trevor Kidd at 11th instead of Brodeur at 20th

1991 – Quebec: Eric Lindros C Oshawa Generals [OHL]

Who they passed up: Alex Kovalev (15th), Peter Forsberg (6th), Scott Niedermayer (3rd)

Other interesting thoughts: The Jets took Aaron Ward at 5 over Forsberg.  Way to go!

1992 – Tampa Bay: Roman Hamrlik D Zlin ZPS AC [Czech]

Who they passed up: Alexei Yashin (2nd), Sergei Gonchar (14th), Cory Stillman (6th)

Other interesting thoughts: Minnesota nabbing Lehtinen at 88th was quite the steal.  Plus Khabibulin (204th) wasn’t bad either for the Jets

1993 – Ottawa: Alexandre Daigle R Victoriaville Tigres [QMJHL]

Who they passed up: Umm, everyone.  Take your pick: Chris Pronger (2nd), Paul Kariya (4th), Koivu (21st)

Other interesting thoughts: The gem has got to be Demitra by the Sens at 227.  Too bad they gave up on him quickly.  Timonen at 250 and Brunette at 174 are nothing to sneeze at either

1994 – Florida: Ed Jovanovski D Windsor Spitfires [OHL]

Who they passed up: Could have been worse, they could have traded down to take Jason Bonsignore (Edmonton, 4th).  Notables of this draft include: Daniel Alfredsson (133rd), Patrik Elias (51st), Tomas Holmstrom (257th)

Other interesting thoughts: Ryan Smyth (6th) and Jovo were really the only top ten picks that weren’t total disappointments.  Quebec really cleaned up with Drury (72nd) and Hejduk (87th).  A lot of goalies got taken extremely late that have panned out: Marty Turco (124th), Tim Thomas (217th), Evgeni Nabokov (219th), Tomas Vokoun (226th)

1995 – Ottawa: Bryan Berard D Detroit Jr. Red Wings [OHL]

Who they passed up: Jarome Iginla (11th), JS Giguere (13th), Shane Doan (7th)

Other interesting thoughts: Savard at 91 was a steal, but the Rangers were too impatient with him.  San Jose nabbing both Kipper (116th) and Toskala (90th) is quite remarkable

1996 – Ottawa: Chris Phillips D Prince Albert Raiders [WHL]

Who they passed up: Tomas Kaberle (204th), Derek Morris (13th), Marco Sturm (21st)

Other interesting thoughts: What a terrible first round.  The only players that stand out, besides Chris Phillips are J.P. Dumont (3rd) and Daniel Briere (24th).  With the Sens badly needing some help on their blueline at the time, hard to argue with the Phillips pick despite him not turning into the offensive defenseman many thought he could be

1997 – Boston: Joe Thornton C Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds [OHL]

Who they passed up: Patrick Marleau  2nd), Olli Jokinen (3rd), Roberto Luongo (4th), Marian Hossa (12th), Brendan Morrow (25th)

Other interesting thoughts: Brian Campbell at 156 by the Sabres was one of the only valuable late picks.  Karel Rachunek at 299 notwithstanding (kidding)

1998 – Tampa Bay: Vincent Lecavalier C Rimouski Oceanic [QMJHL]

Who they passed up: Alex Tanguay (12th), Scott Gomez (27th), Brad Richards (64th), Simon Gagne (22)

Other interesting thoughts: Lecavalier has proven to be the best player from the first round.  But, is he the Michael Jordan of hockey?  That is the question.   Datsyuk at 171?  Aye Karamba!

1999 – Atlanta: Patrik Stefan C Long Beach Ice Dogs [IHL]

Who they passed up: The Sedins (2nd, 3rd), Henrik Zetterberg (210), Martin Havlat (26), Barret Jackman (17th)

Other interesting thoughts: I guess that’s the last time a team drafts someone after playing in Long Beach!  This draft is regarded as one of the worst of recent memory with too many busts to name.  Fine I will: Pavel Brendl (4th), Brian Finley (6th), Kris Beech (7th), Jani Rita (13th)…I could go on

2000 – NY Islanders: Rick DiPietro G Boston University [NCAA]

Who they passed up: Dany Heatley (2nd), Marian Gaborik (3rd), Niklas Kronwall (29th)

Other interesting thoughts: How the heck did the Rangers know to pick Henrik Lundqvist at 205?!?!

2001 – Atlanta: Ilya Kovalchuk L Moscow Spartak [Russia]

Who they passed up: Jason Spezza (2nd), Mikko Koivu (6th), Ales Hemsky (13th), Mike Cammalleri (49th)

Other interesting thoughts: Props to the Sabres nabbing Derek Roy (32nd) and Jason Pominville (55th) as 2nd rounders.

2002 – Columbus: Rick Nash L London Knights [OHL]

Who they passed up: Jay Bouwmeester (3rd), Alexander Semin (13th), Cam Ward (25th), Duncan Keith (54th)

Other interesting thoughts: A strong draft class, but still doesn’t compare to 2003

2003 – Pittsburgh: Marc-Andre Fleury G Cape Breton Screaming Eagles [QMJHL]

Who they passed up: Eric Staal (2nd), Thomas Vanek (5th), Dion Phaneuf (9th), Zach Parise (17th), Ryan Getzlaf (19th)

Other interesting thoughts: Regarded as the strongest draft class in a long time.  Other than a few exceptions (Hugh Jessiman, Brian Boyle, and Shawn Belle) being possible busts, the rest of the first rounders have already solidified themselves as NHL regulars

2004 – Washington: Alexander Ovechkin L Moscow Dynamo [Russia]

Who they passed up: Evgeni Malkin (2nd), Mike Green (29th) Pekka Rinne (258th)

Other interesting thoughts: Did you know that after Ovie and Geno, the next highest scoring player in the NHL from this draft class is Mark Streit?

2005 – Pittsburgh: Sidney Crosby C Rimouski Oceanic [QMJHL]

Who they passed up: Bobby Ryan (2nd), Carey Price (5th), Anze Kopitar (11th), Paul Stastny (44th)

Other interesting thoughts: Bobby Ryan may very well turn out to be the second best from 2005 after all

2006 – St. Louis: Erik Johnson D US National Under 18 Team

Who they passed up: Jordan Staal (2nd), Jonathan Toews (3rd), Nicklas Backstrom (4th), Phil Kessel (5th)

Other interesting thoughts: Still too hard to judge with the verdict out for many of the drafted players.  Lucic at 50 was sweet, as was Steve Mason at 69

2007 – Chicago: Patrick Kane R London Knights [OHL]

Who they passed up: Sam Gagner (6th), Jakub Voracek (7th)

Other interesting thoughts: David Perron at 26 seems to be a nice find for the Blues

2008 – Tampa Bay: Steven Stamkos C Sarnia Sting [OHL]

Who they passed up: The year of the defenceman – Drew Doughty (2nd), Luke Schenn (5th)

Other interesting thoughts: Seen Stamkos?

Coaching:

Mike Babcock (Detroit) OVER Dan Bylsma (Pittsburgh)

Every time I hear Bylsma’s name all I can think of is a marginal NHL player with even more marginal offensive skills.  But man, can he call a perfect timeout.  With Babcock having a great shot at being behind the bench for Team Canada in 2010, the Pens are severely over-matched in the coaching department.

Team Owner:

Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh) OVER Mike Ilitch (Detroit)

Little Caesar’s is decent pizza, but I’ve had better.  On a side note, how cool is it that Super Mario has grown a playoff beard?

Best Power Forward:

Johan Franzen (Detroit) OVER Bill Guerin (Pittsburgh)

Franzen has proven that his superior playoff performance last season was no fluke.  Back in the day Guerin was the exact definition of a power forward.  Now he can be considered the exact definition of a geriatric patient.

Unsung Hero:

Brad Stuart (Detoit) OVER Miro Satan

Stuart has elevated his game since Lidstrom went down early in Round #3.  Satan has filled in nicely since being inserted into the lineup for Sykora.  One funny line I heard from a broadcaster while the clip of Satan fighting Patrick Eaves was shown: “Where did Satan learn to fight like that?  The AHL”.  Go ahead, you can use that line at a party this weekend.

Best Skater:

Brett Lebda or Darren Helm (Detroit) OVER Sidney Crosby (Pittsburgh)

While Crosby is a great skater, Lebda’s wheels are second to none, while Helm has proven to be the next Kris Draper.  Let’s just hope he also doesn’t get traded for $1.

Best Hitter:

Niklas Kronwall (Detroit) OVER Brooks Orpik (Pittsburgh)

Both players have walked a fine line with their hits being somewhat questionable, but no doubt Kronwall’s checks have been series changing.  As David eluded to in the “real” preview, just ask Martin Havlat.

Play-by-Play Voice:

Paul Steigerwald (Pittsburgh) OVER Ken Daniels (Detroit)

Steigerwald replaced Hockey Hall of Famer Mike Lange a few years ago on FSN Pittsburgh and hasn’t looked back since.  Although Daniels isn’t bad, he is a bit too much of a Detroit homer for my liking.

Team Mascot:

Iceburgh (Pittsburgh) OVER Al the Octopus (Detroit)

Pittsburgh wins simply because Al is chained up to the roof of at Joe Louis Arena.

Arena:

Joe Louis Arena (Detroit) OVER Mellon Arena (Pittsburgh)

Mellon Arena is a dump, and I’m sure Pens fans can’t wait for the Console Energy Center come 2010.  Also add in the fact that Joe Louis hasn’t sold out corporately yet.

Arena nickname:

The Igloo (Pittsburgh) OVER The Joe (Detroit)

Jean-Claude Van Damme would agree with me.  While we are on the subject, did you know they are making a Universal Soldier 3?  Direct to video, perhaps.

Fan tradition:

Throwing an octopus (Detroit) OVER The White Out (Pittsburgh)

Since Pens fans can’t claim to have started this tradition, the octopus takes the cake.  Did you know that the octopus tradition started in 1952 when a fish merchant threw an octopus on the ice with its 8 legs symbolizing the 8 playoff victories to win the Stanley Cup?  Either did I, until I Googled it.

Famous Local Celebrity:

Demi Moore (Pittsburgh) OVER Tim Allen (Detroit)

I don’t think so Tim.

80s Movie Location:

Robocop (Detroit) OVER Flashdance (Pittsburgh)

Is this even close?

Song Reference:

Detroit Rock City by Kiss OVER Pittsburgh Pennsylvania by Guy Mitchell.

I just can’t bash Gene Simmons.

The Result: Wings in 7

Conn Smythe Trophy:

Pittsburgh Candidates

Sidney Crosby

Key stats: 13 goals, 24 points

Currently one point behind NHL leader Malkin, Sid the Kid has been a dominant force in the 2009 postseason.  His clutch performance in Game 7 against the Caps has elevated the legacy of the young phenom.

Marc-Andre Fleury

Key stats: 10-5 record, .899 save percentage, 2.76 goals against average

Fleury’s stats aren’t phenomenal, but in the most important category (wins), he is tops.  Although he doesn’t have any postseason shutouts yet this spring, his OT record of 3-1 speaks volumes of his clutch performance thus far.

Evgeni Malkin

Key stats: 15 assists, 25 points

Hardly a dark horse for the playoff MVP, Malkin is neck and neck with Sid for the playoff point lead.  His indifferent play early on doesn’t help, but with inspired play since the end of Round 2, he could be in line to receive this prestigious award.

Carolina Candidate

Cam Ward

Key stats: 8-8 record, .920 save percentage, 2.5 goals against average

If the Canes can somehow make it to the Cup, it will be because of Ward’s heroics.  His stingy GAA is the only reason people in NASCAR country are all-in this postseason.

Detroit Candidates

Chris Osgood

Key stats: 10-3 record, .925 save percentage, 2.04 goals against average

Osgood has simply gotten the job done for the Wings this spring.  While not playing spectacularly, Osgood has held the fort admirably and his past playoff experience allows him to remain calm after letting in a few softies.

Johan Franzen

Key stats: 9 goals, 18 points

Franzen has been the most dangerous Red Wing in the Playoffs; that’s saying a lot considering the offensive firepower on this squad.  His ability to cause havoc in front of the opponent’s goalie has been responsible for many goals that he should have been awarded a tertiary assist.

Dark horse: Dan Cleary

If Cleary pops in a few more game winners (2 GWG’s thus far), we may have the new Martin Gelinas on our hands.

Chicago Candidate

Martin Havlat

Key stats: 9 assists, 14 points

Havlat has been consistent since the first game for the Blackhawks, but it’s looking more unlikely that he and his teammates will take this series against the boys from Motown.

Once we’re on the subject of awards, here are some more that you won’t see awarded at the NHL Awards in Vegas:

Best Playoff Announcer: Jim Hughson (except when he says his overused line of “the fans call a penalty, but the refs don’t”).

Worst Playoff Announcer: Gord Miller (except when he’s on mute).

Best Playoff Beard: Eric Cole’s caveman impersonation wins, runner-up goes to Dan Cleary.

Worst Playoff Beard (aka the 2008 Sidney Crosby Award): Jonathan Toews’ sideburns are growing in quite nicely, just the rest needs some work.  Alex Ovechkin’s beard patches rank second, with P.J. Stock coming in third.

Best Playoff Crowd: Washington; Caps fans dressed in red went bonkers the first two rounds.

Worst Playoff Crowd: Chicago; it may be because of the hype surrounding the electricity at the old Chicago Stadium, but crowd noise hasn’t been that crazy so far.

Most Exciting Game: Too many to name, but one that stands out is Game 6 between Chicago and Vancouver, with the Blackhawks’ third period outburst.

Least Exciting Game: Regrettably, Game 7 between the Pens and Caps.

Best Playoff Commercial: The new Ponch-Out commercial for the Nintendo Wii.

Worst Playoff Commercial: The NHL on Versus commercial that still airs featuring three quarters of teams that have already been eliminated.

Most Overplayed Commercial: Enterprise Rent-A-Car.  For my trip?  Sounds expensive!

Unsung Hero: That guy taking Kung Fu lessons in the Kia Forte commercial.

Worst Individual Performance: Pick any Shark, I’ll go with Thornton.  The only one who showed up for this series was S.J. Sharkie.

Most Surprising Performance: Simeon Varlamov and Jonas Hiller (tie), second place goes to Craig Conroy’s work on TSN.

Best Swan Song Performance: Maggie the Monkey.

Playoff Villain: Jim Balsillie (for those in Phoenix).

Playoff Hero: Jim Balsillie (for those in Hamilton).

Playoff Presence Most Missed: Jim Van Horne (or at least his mustache).

U.S. Exposure
The second round was a sports marketer’s dream, featuring four amazing series, with three Game 7’s.  This round probably couldn’t have unfolded any better for the NHL’s exposure south of the boarder, and I’ll explain…

Although the Pens – Caps Game 7 was a dud, the series basically showcased the Larry Bird and Magic Johnson of hockey’s new era (Crosby vs. Ovechkin, not Cooke vs. Steckel).  The only downside was that these two teams weren’t able to meet when their teams were deeper in the playoffs.  As far as the Carolina series goes, it is nice to see Canes fans jumping back on board with the team, despite several poor campaigns after their cup victory in ’06.  Wanna bet that this Carolina team would be in discussion of unstable franchises like Phoenix, Florida and Atlanta had they not done so well this year?  Sure, Boston does represent a larger market than Carolina, but when franchise stability has been a hot topic of late, I’m sure NHL brass weren’t too disappointed that there will be excitement in Carolina through at least the end of May.  And with both the Wings and Blackhawks advancing, two more large U.S. markets will be represented anyways.  With message boards being flooded with comments from U.S. fans such as “why isn’t the game on a network that I get in my market”, the NHL may finally have broken through clutter that consists of ten-pin bowling, dog shows, and bass fishing.  Maybe Bettman will finally get his dream of a big national TV deal…nah, just kidding.

TSN and CBC: the new Sonny and Cher?

In case you missed it, TSN and CBC twice worked together when airing games in the second round to avoid scheduling conflicts.  Basically, CBC got Game 1 of the Ducks – Wings series from TSN in exchange for Game 6 of Pens – Caps series.  TSN apparently had a conflict between Game 1 of the Bruins – Canes series, some Nascar crap, and Game 1 of the Ducks – Wings series, hence the switch.  It is finally nice to see these two networks helping each other out and getting along, even after the “Hockey Anthem” debacle (and not seen since Bob Cole was on TSN during a few 2006 olympic Broadcasts) as explained here by the Toronto Star.   CBC definitely got the short end of the stick on that deal based on the crazy Captials OT victory in Game 6.  But, considering that no one knew the Pens – Caps series would go to at least 6 games, it made the deal more of a safe bet for CBC.  Then last night, instead of TSN and TSN2 each airing a game, TSN gave CBC Game 7 of the Ducks – Wings series.  Obviously CBC is a winner here, but has to give TSN a game later on in the playoffs.  No word yet if TSN made CBC take on 1/3rd of Dave Hodge’s contract with this deal (or as the Toronto Star column speculates, Jennifer Hedger’s hair).  In reality, I guess the fans were the real winners here, in that TSN didn’t have to use TSN2.

Empty Seats at the Joe!?

And finally, “you know what really grinds my gears” (Griffin, 2006)?  The fact that apparently you could still buy tickets to Game 5 at the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit minutes before puck drop – at least according to CBC play-by-play man Jim Hughson.  I don’t care if every signle General Motors plant is shut down throughout Windsor and Detroit – how can this happen?  Have people’s discretionary income decreased that drastically since the recession?  Enough of Economics Class 101, here is an interesting article regarding the Yankee’s recent troubles of selling tickets and ticket pricing strategies.

This past week I was lucky enough to receive a request from loyal Illegal Curve reader “Hbomb” to come up with a Hockey Slang Dictionary – jargon that is present during everyday hockey broadcasts.  I’m not sure if it had something to do with the Bud Light “Hbomb” was drinking or maybe him having a mild case of Penguins Cup Fever, but nonetheless here is a little guide of slang terms that we came up with that you have likely encountered while watching some puck:

#

4×6 – hockey net

5 hole – area between the goalie’s legs

7 hole – area between the arm of the goalie’s catch glove and his side

B

Biscuit – puck

Blowing a tire – a player losing his edge and falling

Blueliner - defenceman

Bread basket – goalie’s stomach area

Bonnet – helmet

Bucket – helmet

Butterfly - common style of goaltending where goalie’s pads are on ice and chest and shoulders are kept high to cover the majority of the net

C

Cage – hockey net

Can-opener - maneuver whereby defenceman places stick between an opponent’s legs and turns his body; also known as the “Bryan McCabe”

Cherry Picker – player who only remains in the offensive zone without a desire to help out defensively; Jason Spezza

Chucking the knuckles – hockey fight

Chicklets – teeth

Chop – slash

Coast to coast - act where a player rushes the puck up the ice from one end to the other

Cobwebs – what a player tries to rid himself of after being hit

Cue – hockey stick

Cup – portion of jock strap that protects a player; area of expertise of the “Puck Bunny”

D

Dance - hockey fight

Dangle - deke

Dish – pass

Dive - a player intentionally falling to draw a penalty

Dipsy doodle - see “Dangle”

Dump - process by which a player shoots the puck into the corner of the opponent’s offensive zone

Doughnut Boy – retired referee Don Koharski

F

Face wash – technique used by a player after a whistle to anger an opponent

Feed – pass

Flop - see “Dive”; goaltending technique of former NHL goalie Bob Essensa also known as “Flipper”

Freezing the puck - maneuver where goalie holds onto the puck for extended period of time forcing a faceoff in his own zone

G

Give and go – one player passes the puck, then skates and awaits for a return pass

Given ‘er – mantra whereby players give 100% effort

Goon – fighter; can display characteristics of a “Grinder”

Gordie Howe Hattrick – goal, assist, and fight in one game

Gretzky’s Office – area behind the net

Grinder - player of lower quality; “Checker”

H

Hammered - when one player hits other; can be the result of “Given ‘er”

Horseshoe – common warm-up drill in minor hockey

Howitzer - a hard slap shot

I

Iron - goal post

L

Lid - helmet

Lighting the lamp – scoring a goal

Lumber - hockey stick

M

Mitts - hockey gloves

Mugging - act of attacking another player without his knowledge, also known as “Todd Bertuzziing”

Mustard - something placed on a hard shot

N

Natural Hattrick – three goals in a row, in one game

O

On the fly – line change that occurs while play is going on

P

Paddle - goalie stick

Pansification – phrase coined by CBC personality Mike Milbury to describe a soft player; characteristic displayed by Joe Thornton during the playoffs

Pillows - goalie’s pads

Pipe - goal post

Puck Bunny - female choosing to engage in sexual activities exclusively with hockey players

Pulling the goalie - team removing their goalie from the game for an extra attacker on the ice; act a player engages by himself if “Puck Bunnies” are not present

Pylon – player that is of lower skill level; Illegal Curve’s Drew during recreational hockey games

R

Riding the pine – act in which a player remains on bench for prolonged period of time; common with “Goon” and “Grinder”

Rubber - hockey puck

S

Saucer pass - pass that is elevated slightly off of the ice

Shaft - hockey stick

Sin bin – penalty box

Snow angel – when a goalie lies down on the ice on his back with arms and legs spread; usually occurs when the goalie loses his vision of where the puck is located

Snowing the goalie - act of a player intentionally stopping in front of the goalie and thus spraying ice pellets

Splitting the D – hockey move where a player carries the puck in between two defenceman

Spinorama - perfected by Serge and Denis Savard where player spins around with the puck to avoid opponents

Stacking the pads – move where a goalie slides across the ice with both pads placed beside each other horizontally

Standing on your head – game in which a goalie proves to be almost impossible to beat

Stripes – referee

Stone Hands – time period in which a player cannot score; Evgeni Malkin during the 2008 Stanley Cup Playoffs; former Winnipeg Jet Ray Neufeld

T

Tic-tac-toe – three consecutive passes using three different players resulting in a goal

Top shelf – upper portion of the net; area where mamma hides the cookies

Trap – type of neutral zone defensive formation

Trapper - goalie’s glove

Twig - hockey stick

Twine - hockey net

U

Umberalla – type of powerplay formation

W

Waffle - goalie’s blocker

Wheels - player’s ability to skate fast

White Out – act of fans dressing in all white started by Winnipeg Jets fans in the early 90′s; often simulated but never replicated

Weasel - nickname for Commissioner Gary Bettman

Z

Zebra - referee

That’s all that the two of us could think of off of the top of our heads.  If anyone has additional terms, add them in the comments section.  I’d like to keep this on IllegalCurve.com for future reference – it could come in handy as more and more ‘Canes fans continue to jump on the bandwagon as the team advances (just kidding Carolina readers!).

Sharks defeat Blues, 2000

With the Blues coming off of their Presidents Trophy winning season based on the strong play of blueline studs Pronger and MacInnis, they were heavily favoured to manhandle the eighth seeded Sharks.  After a goal by Owen Nolan that caught Blues goalie Roman Turek by surprise, the Sharks managed to beat the Blues in seven games.

Kings defeat Red Wings, 2001

The seventh seeded Kings had all the momentum in this series after the infamous Stunner at Staples in Game 4.  The second seeded Red Wings took a commanding 3-0 lead in Game 4, only to see the Kings come roaring back with the help of goals from Brian Smolinski and Eric Belanger to win Game 4 in overtime, and ultimately win the series in six games after a Game 6 OT goal by Adam Deadmarsh.

Canadiens defeat Bruins, 2002

Although the Bruins were a far superior team in 2009 than the Habs, some hockey experts were predicting an upset, similar to what took place between these two teams in 2002.  Off of the heals of Saku Koivu’s return from his battle with Cancer, he rallied the eighth seeded Habs to victory against the first seeded Bruins.  The most memorable moment of this series was likely Kyle McLaren’s arm bar hit on the Habs’ Richard Zednick.

Mighty Ducks defeat Red Wings, 2003

En route to their march to the Stanley Cup Final, the seventh seeded (then Mighty) Ducks managed to surprisingly sweep the second seeded Red Wings.  The Mighty Ducks never looked back after a triple overtime goal by Paul Kariya in Game 1.  Steve Rucchin scored the Game 4 OT winner.

Flames defeat Canucks, 2004

Definitely the best of the first round, this series had it all including a Game 7 OT winner by Martin “The Eliminator” Gelinas.  The story of the series had to be Miikaa Kiprusoff whose coming out party during this series helped propel the sixth seeded Flames to the Cup Final.  The Canucks greatly missed Todd Bertuzzi’s physical presence, as he was suspended from the Steve Moore incident.

Oilers defeat Red Wings, 2006

Similar to the Flames in 2004, the Oilers started their route to the cup final with a major first round upset, winning the series four games to two.  Against all odds, the eighth seeded Oilers dominated the number one seeded Red Wings at all ends of the ice during the first postseason dance after the lockout.  Like Gelinas, this was Fernando Pisani’s coming out party, with two key goals in Game 5, and a total of five goals in the first round.

TSN’s First Round Impact

Aside from Roberto Luongo, TSN2 has been the hero of the first round thus far.  Well, so long as you don’t use Rogers as your Digital Cable provider.  TSN2’s coverage of games shown on Vs. and MSG have allowed viewers to tune into first round games that normally would have only been available on NHL Centre Ice.  Hard to believe that Rogers and TSN2 are at a stalemate in reaching an agreement.  Let’s hope this is resolved before the Olympic coverage starts next year.  It should also be mentioned that for the first time TSN is able show Canadian team’s playoff games.  Previously the CBC would have a monopoly over these games, and often times viewers would be without certain games when they were split up regionally.  However, CBC still reigns superior in its coverage…

TSN vs. CBC

There’s no doubt that despite TSN stealing the HNIC theme, CBC is still the champ when it comes to broadcast quality.  I’m not sure what it is, but that “big game” mentality doesn’t seem to be there when watching games on TSN.  This brings me to my next two points…

Bob Cole’s Return

Bob’s playoff performance has been so dominant thus far; it would make John Druce proud.  His play calling during the Habs-Bruins series adds the feeling that this is the game of the night that you should be watching – not wasting your time with Gord Miller and that stupid monkey.

PJ Stock’s Playoff Beard

It seems CBC has finally found a niche market for PJ Stock – an audience that is still in Elementary School.  This is not necessarily a bad thing for the CBC, as his childish humour is breath a of fresh air and a nice departure from other serious segments like The Headliner, for example.  Update: PJ’s playoff beard is now on Day #6, with stubble only visible on the best 1080p high-def TV’s out there.

NHL.com unveils “The Portal”

I still don’t know exactly what a Portal is, but I do know that the NHL is advertising it like crazy, complete with TV commericals and rink board ads.  The main page (or I guess “Portal”) on NHL.com has undergone a redesign for the playoffs with a few new video/interactive features added, but more or less has the same content otherwise.

Roger Millions’ Gaffe

Previously linked by Illegal Curve contributor David, Roger Millions uttering “cocksucker!” on live TV rivals any of the above storylines.  Darren Millard and the rest of the Sportsnet crew’s reaction was equally as priceless.

Save-on-Foods Donation

And finally, an article also previously linked by Illegal Curve, pertains to Save-on-Foods donating thousands of dollars for the CBC to get a truck out in St. Louis to show the Canuck’s road games in HD.  Nice to see Save-on-Foods donating to such a worthy cause.  Maybe this off-season they’ll donate some cash to put Kyle Wellwood on Weight Watchers.

Be sure to follow us on twitter @illegalcurve for all the latest hockey news.

(10)  Jeff Odgers, 2364 PIMS.  The only attraction for Thrasher fans during the expansion era.

(9)  Tony Twist, 1121 PIMS.  The Twister was someone you did not want to miss with.  Ignore the background Slayer music of the clip.

(8)  Tim Hunter, 3146 PIMS.  Best shnozz in the business.  Here’s another funny Hunter clip.

(7)  John Kordic, 997 PIMS.  The late Kordic was one crazy S.O.B.

(6)  Stu Grimson, 2113 PIMS.  The Grim Reaper was crazy on the ice, and one of the funnier and nicer guys off it.

(5)  Rob Ray, 3207 PIMS.  Now working between the benches on Buffalo MSG telecasts, Ray will be a Sabre for life.

(4)  Marty McSorley, 3381 PIMS.  McSorley ranks up there simply because he wasn’t actually that bad of a player.

(3) Dave Semenko, 1175 PIMS. Wayne’s right hand man.

(2)  Tie Domi, 3515 PIMS.  Lucky for us, the length of his TSN broadcasting career was only a fraction of his NHL career.

(1)  Bob Probert, 3300 PIMS.  The Champ in the mid-90s.

Be sure to follow us on twitter @illegalcurve for all the latest hockey news.

(10)  Kelly Hrudey, Kings.  You won’t see Jonathan Quick wearing this design any time soon.

(9)  Doug Favell, Flyers. The first goalie to paint his entire mask.

(8)  Ed Giacomin, Red Wings. Only goalie to feature advertising on his mask.  The red spark plugs featured were to promote the company Champion Spark Plugs in the mid-70s.

(7)  Gary Simmons, Golden Seals. This mask is trippy.

(6)  Gary Bromley, Canucks. Spooky.  Hello Clarice.

(5)  Gilles Gratton, Rangers.  Famous mask, on a not so famous goaltender.

(4)  Brian Hayward, Sharks. Mediocre goalie, unbelievable mask.

(3)  Gerry Cheevers, Bruins. Unique design where every time Cheevers was hit in the face with a puck, he would paint a stitch on his mask to show where he would have been cut had he not been protecting his face.  Even modern day goalies have paid tribute.

(2)  Ed Belfour, Blackhawks. His original design has become a staple in the mask design industry, and created an image for Belfour.  When asked for comment, Belfour says the design is worth “one billion dollars”.

(1)  Jacques Plante, Canadiens.  The innovator.

(10) Sean Avery vs. Nashville.  The Push Up (scroll to 14 second mark).

(9) Mike Foligno / Nick Foligno vs. Various.  The Stomp.

(8) Miro Satan vs. Toronto.  The Phone Call.

(7) Milan Hedjuk Part 1 and Part 2 vs. Dallas.  The Dive and The Swim.

(6) Jaromir Jagr vs. Various.  The Salute.

(5) Daryl Evans vs. Edmonton.  The Mob (scroll to the 3:50 mark).

(4) Brad May vs. Boston. The Skate.

(3) Theo Fleury vs. Edmonton.  The Slide.

(2) Tiger Williams vs. Various.  Riding the Stick.

(1) Teemu Selanne vs. Quebec. The Shooter.

Leading up the playoffs, here are video clips of my Top 20 Playoff Goals.  Keep in mind these goals are based on their impact and place in hockey history, not so much based on their visual appeal.

(20) Dougie Gilmour vs. St. Louis, 1993.  Love Gilmour, still hate the Leafs.

(19) Steve Yzerman vs. St. Louis, 1996.  If Fuhr wasn’t hurt, this shot might have been saved.

(18) Theo Fleury vs. Edmonton, 1991.  Most famous celebration?

(17) Wayne Gretzky vs. Toronto, 1993.  Could have been a Toronto-Montreal final if not for Wayne.

(16) Uwe Krupp vs. Florida, 1996.  Beezer should have had that one.

(15) Todd Marchant vs. Dallas, 1997.  Bob Cole’s call is legendary.

(14) Darren McCarty vs. Philadelphia, 1997.  Niinimaa still looking for his jock.

(13) Brett Hull vs. Buffalo, 1999.  Most controvsial NHL goal of all-time.  Still don’t think this goal should have counted.

(12) Keith Primeau vs. Pittsburgh, 2000.  The latest I’ve ever been up on a school night.

(11) Petr Nedved vs. Washington, 1996.  Nedved’s claim to fame.

(10) Peter Klima vs. Boston, 1990.  No clip available

(9) Wayne Gretzky vs. Calgary, 1988.  Game 7 winner.

(8) Pat LaFontaine vs. Washington, 1987.  Prior to Kelly Hrudey’s bandana days.

(7) Stephane Matteau vs. New Jersey, 1994.  En route to the Rangers’ first cup since 1940.

(6) Steve Smith vs. Edmonton, 1986.  Flames go on to Cup finals against the Habs.

(5) Lanny McDonald vs. Montreal, 1989.  Gilmour had the winner, but this is the goal that clinched it.

(4) Guy LaFleur vs. Boston, 1979.  Cherry’s too many men goal.

(3) Bobby Nystrom vs. Philadelphia, 1980.  The makings of a dynasty.

(2) Bobby Baun vs. Detroit, 1964.  Scored on a broken leg.

(1) Bobby Orr vs. St. Louis, 1970.  The ultimate goal from the ultimate player.

(10) Sunday, April 12.  Detroit @ Chicago.  NBC, FS-D, CSN-CH.  The last game on the docket for the regular season.

(9) Thursday, March 12.  Washington @ Philadelphia.  CSN-DC, CSN-PH.  A re-match of last year’s first round match-up, these two teams do not like each other.

(8) Saturday, April 11.  Tampa Bay @ Atlanta.  WTOG, SPSO.  The John Tavares Bowl!

(7) Saturday, March 14.  New Jersey @ Montreal.  CBC, MSG.  Will be interesting to see how the Habs respond to Carbo’s firing. Brodeur back in Montreal on HNIC.  Can’t get much better.

(6) Wednesday, March 25.  Florida @ Buffalo.  FS-F, MSG-B.  On paper this game doesn’t look too intriguing, but could mean life or death for these two teams.

(5) Sunday, March 29.  Boston @ Philadelphia.  NESN, CSN-PH.  Will be a physical affair, and important for the Flyers’ playoff positioning.

(4) Wednesday, March 25.  San Jose @ Chicago.  CSN-BA, CSN-CH.  The Hawks will be battling for home-ice advantage for the first round against a tough Sharks opponent.

(3) Monday, March 30.  New Jersey @ New York Rangers.  TSN, Versus.  Sean Avery’s Rangers against “Fatso” Brodeur’s Devils for some serious playoff implications for the Rangers.  That, plus Gord Miller, equals one hell of an evening.

(2) Thursday, April 9.  Montreal @ Boston.  RDS, NESN.  Original six match-up in Beantown could be trouble for the Habs.

(1) Saturday, April 11.  Edmonton @ Calgary.  CBC.  The last Battle of Alberta for the season could get a bit feisty.

Here we go!

(1) Bell Centre – Montreal.  Largest capacity in NHL and is filled every night.  Best overall atmosphere.

(2) Rexall Place – Edmonton.  Small, but cozy confines.  Goosebumps when the crowd belts out the National Anthem.

(3) Pengrowth Saddledome – Calgary.  The rushed seating in the “Playoff Zone” upper deck is what being fan friendly is all about.

(4) Xcel Energy Center – Minnesota.  Can see all the action from the concession stands.  Filled to the brim every night despite a team that traps the entire game.

(5) Madison Square Garden – New York Rangers.  How can you not love “The Mecca”?

(6) General Motors Place – Vancouver.  Notorious bandwagon fans are back on the wagon this year.  Or is it off the wagon?

(7) United Center – Chicago.  Huge capacity arena finally selling out.  I guess televising home games wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

(8) Joe Louis Arena - Detroit.  The “oldest newest rink” has no actual upper deck.  Having just two bowls make the sightlines great throughout.

(9) Wachovia Center – Philadelphia.  Tough as nails fans.  Beautiful rink a stone’s throw away from where the Phillies and Eagles play.

(10) TD Banknorth Garden – Boston.  Situated in the heart of Beantown, the fans are finally back!

(11) American Airlines Center – Dallas. Fans always standing during OT is cool.

(12) Verizon Center – Washington.  Rockin’ the Red all season.

(13) Staples Center – Los Angeles. Any rink with Alan Thicke in attendance has got to be good.

(14) HP Pavilion - San Jose.  The Tank is always full.

(15) Nationwide Arena – Columbus.  Non-traditional hockey market finally showing that fans care about this team.

(16) Honda Center – Anaheim.  Marble flooring throughout is classy.

(17) Air Canada Centre – Toronto. Always sold out, but too corporoate.

(18) Scotiabank Place – Ottawa.  Fans didn’t show up consistently when this team was in the running for a President’s Trophy, so why start now?

(19) HSBC Arena - Buffalo.  Nice rink, but in the middle of nowhere.  At least they’re not bankrupt.

(20) Mellon Arena – Pittsburgh.  Outdated facility.

(21) Prudential Center – New Jersey.  New rink, but still not enough fans attend despite team success.

(22) RBC Center – Carolina.  At least they have the Caniac Cheerleaders.

(23) St. Pete Times Forum – Tampa Bay.  Is this newspaper still in circulation?

(24) Pepsi Center – Colorado.  Sellout streak since the team moved from Quebec finally ended.

(25) Scottrade Center - St. Louis.  According to Illegal Curve’s sources, the $10 hot dogs are a must.

(26) Sommet Center – Nashville.  The only thing they’ve got going on is their mascot “Gnash”.

(27) BankAtlantic Center – Florida.  The only fans that go are ex-Montreals who live in Del Boca Vista.  Bring back those rats.  Let’s see if people show up for the playoffs.

(28) Philips Arena – Atlanta.  Nice facility, but no one goes/cares.

(29) Jobing.com Arena – Phoenix.  Where?

(30) Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum – NY Islanders.  This place is a dump.

Anyways, this got me thinking about all the current NHL announcers and how they rank up against each other.  After doing extensive research (ie: going to the highly credible Wikipedia), I have provided a list of all play-by-play and colour combos, along with how I think they rank.

Check it out:

(1) DAL – Ralph Strangis and Daryl Reaugh (Fox Sports Southwest).  Reaugh is hilarious.

(2) NJ – Mike “Doc” Emrick and Chico Resch (MSG Plus/MSG Network).  Doc and Chico make a great tandem.

(3) BUF – Rick Jeanneret and Harry Neale (MSG Network).  “MAY-DAY!”

(4) NYI – Howie Rose and Billy Jaffe (MSG Plus).  Couldn’t decide who is #4 and who is #5.

(5) NYR – Sam Rosen and Joe Micheletti (MSG Network).  Couldn’t decide who is #4 and who is #5.

(6) PIT – Paul Steigerwald and Bob Errey (Fox Sports Pittsburgh).  Great replacement for Mike Lange.

(7) WAS – Joe Beninati and Craig Laughlin (CSN Mid-Atlantic).  Underrated duo.

(8) DET – Ken Daniels and Mickey Redmond (Fox Sports Detroit).  Daniels’ HNIC experience quite evident.

(9) SJ – Randy Hahn and Drew Remenda (CSN Bay Area).  How can you not like a pre-game show called “Shark Byte”?

(10) LA – Bob Miller and Jim Fox (Fox Sports West).  Kings, with the goal.

(11) OTT – Dean Brown and Shaun Van Allen (Rogers Sportsnet East).  Top broadcasting pair for a Canadian club.

(12) CHI – Pat Foley and Ed Olczyk (CSN Chicago/WGN-TV).  Rising along with the Hawks.

(13) PHI – Jim Jackson and Keith Jones (CSN Philadelphia).  Love the Flyers a bit too much.

(14) BOS – Jack Edwards and Andy Brickley (NESN).  Love the Bruins a bit too, too much.  Hazel Mae’s in-studio work is also missed.

(15) MIN – Dan Terhaar and Mike Greenlay (Fox Sports North).  New combo still learning the tricks of the trade.

(16) VAN – John Shorthouse and John Garrett (Rogers Sportsnet Pacific).  Garrett is still too annoying.

(17) STL – John Kelly and Bernie Federko (Fox Sports Midwest/KPLR).  “Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you”.

(18) PHO – Dave Strader and Darren Pang (Fox Sports Arizona/KAZT).  Kurt Keilback where are you?

(19) EDM – Kevin Quinn and Louie DeBrusk (Rogers Sportsnet West).  Quinn needs to simmer down a bit sometimes.  Not enough HD games.

(20) CAL – Peter Loubardias and John Garrett (Rogers Sportsnet West).  Roger Millions was better.

(21) TOR – Joe Bowen and Greg Millen (TSN/Rogers Sportsnet Ontario/Leafs TV).  Harry Neale is missed.

(22) CAR – John Forslund and Tripp Tracy (Fox Sports Carolinas).  “Hey, hey, whatya say?”

(23) TB – Rick Peckham and Bobby Taylor (Sun Sports).  Peckham was better calling games for the Whalers.

(24) ANA – John Ahlers and Brian Hayward (Prime Ticket/KDOC).  Hayward is decent, but John who?

(25) COL – Mike Haynes and Peter McNab (Altitude Sports and Entertainment).  Too biased towards Colly.

(26) CLB – Jeff Rimer and Danny Gare (Fox Sports Ohio).  Both think Manny Malholtra is actually a #1 centre.

(27) NAS – Pete Weber and Terry Crisp (Fox Sports Tennessee).  Crisp is amusing, Weber not so much.

(28) FLA – Steve Goldstein and Denis Potvin (Fox Sports Florida).  Potvin was a far better defenseman than colour guy.

(29) ATL – JP Dellacamera and Darren Eliot (SportSouth).  No one cares about hockey in the ATL, so why should they?

(N/A) MTL – Pierre Houde and Benoit Brunet (RDS).  Haven’t watched enough in French to appropriately comment.

Longtime Globe and Mail columnist William Houston has finally hung them up.  For 29 years, Houston has been providing a unique perspective of the sports industry through how it’s covered in the media.  He will be immensely missed at Illegal Curve, and especially by me as I’m going to have to find someone else to take material from.

If you watched some of the Caps-Panthers game this past weekend, you may have noticed one time TSN personality Lisa Hillary between the benches for the Capitals game on Comcast Sportsnet.  You go girl.

Speaking of the Capitals, Breakout Announcer of the Year has to go to Cap’s announcer Joe Beninati.  Being the featured voice on Versus ranks him up there.

How does Mark Osborne still have a job?

Is Tyson Strachan Al’s illegitimate son?  Man I hope so.

Caught a bit of the Spurs – Celtics game yesterday on ABC, and it got me thinking.  Why can’t NBC follow ABC’s lead and show games based on the teams’ current season, and not on where they are purely located?  Sure, a Rangers – Flyers game caters to large markets, but what about showing a Habs – Bruins game with two teams battling for Eastern Conference supremacy?  Look for more on this topic during an Illegal Curve Editorial piece on Wednesday.

A happy 75th to Donald S. Cherry!  May no-touch icing finally be introduced soon.

Is there a better nickname then the “Kahlua” line in Atlanta?  Also known as the Little White Russian line (Little, White, Kovalchuk…get it?).

Anyone catch TSN’s Trade Deadline Preview show on Wednesday, one month before the trade deadline?  I didn’t think so.

Nevermind Mike Green for the Norris, what about Shea Weber?  You read it here first.  Well actually, you probably read it here first, but nonetheless.

For those that missed HNIC’s Hotstove this weekend:

Apparently Ray Emery flew the coup from his KHL team because of a disagreement over the exchange rate and his resulting contract  payment.  Brian Elliot’s new backup, perhaps?  Speaking of the KHL, John Grahame recently got the boot from his KHL team for partying too hard.

Can you believe the Rangers are considering bringing Avery back into the fold?  According to him, he is a changed man since undergoing counseling.  Oh ya, and I’m Elisha Cuthbert’s sloppy thirds.

The Sedin’s to Toronto this summer?  Apparently so, says Strachan.

Trade Alfie: (likelihood of this happening: 0.2%)
I know he is getting old and is under contract until 2012/2013, but he is one of the only Sens that has shown anything that resembles emotion come playoff time – well him and Lyndon Slewidge. His cap hit isn’t too bad – a modest $4.4 mil per season – and therefore doesn’t harm team payroll too badly.

Trade Spezza (likelihood of this happening: 25%)
For those who don’t remember, there were rumours a year ago of the Sens trying to trade Spezza for Luongo. Now the Sens won’t be able get Luongo’s hair product for Spezza, without Ottawa being forced to throw in a #1 pick. Since Brian Elliott now appears to be the goalie of the future, the Sens immediate need is a puck moving defenceman. An option could be to trade Spezza mainly for cap space and picks, then go after Bouwmeester in the off-season once he becomes a UFA.
A more likely scenario could be…

Trade Fisher and/or Vermette (likelihood of this happening: 50%)
With Fisher having a cap hit of $4.2 mil up to 2012/2013, he is a tad pricey, especially given his oft-injured status. Vermette could be a bit more appetizing for clubs seeking a smooth skating 2-way centre with questionable hands, as his cap hit is only $2.7 mil up to 09/10. The Sens would probably like to trade Fisher over Vermette given the salary, but most clubs would probably prefer Vermette given his potential and gazelle-like stride. Maybe for Oilers’ Tom Gilbert? I’m just saying…

Fire Bryan Murray (likelihood of this happening: 66.66666%)
Bryan Murray needs to go. It should happen now, so the incumbent GM can familiarize himself with the scouting staff leading up to the entry draft. Murray has made countless brutal deals/signings, most notably signing a tandem of Emery and Gerber. His trade of Eaves and Corvo for Stillman and Commodore isn’t exactly paying dividends either at the moment. The rumours of Bob Nicholson manning his post seem quite appealing right now. Starting fresh next season by hiring pal Pat Quinn as coach isn’t a bad idea either. Plus I hear PQ is down to 3 packs a day these days.

Put a muzzle on Jarko Ruutu (likelihood of this happening: 65%)
Once deemed a playoff player, Ruutu needs to “Shut his Yap”, in the words of John Tortorella. Hey, Torts would be a good choice for a new coach too. These days Ruutu is nothing but a headache for the team on the ice and should be sent packing this off-season. At least he isn’t a detriment in the locker room as with previous players (ie: Andre Roy doing blow off of the Sens’ dressing room ping pong table).

Melnyk staying in Barbados and enjoying a few pina coladas on the beach (likelihood of this happening: 85%)
How can this man put up with such an indifferent team year after year?

Hardest Shot Winner:
Chara won with a 105.4 thumper that narrowly edged Weber’s blast.

How the NHL can improve it:
Why not invite some of the previous Hardest Shot winners to take to the ice?  Rumour has it that Al Iafrate and his “Skullett” can still rip them 100 miles plus while wearing flip-flops.  You just know Dave Manson has nothing better to do these days anyways.

Fastest Skater:
Cogliano won with a time of 14.31 seconds.

How the NHL can improve it:
As much as I would like to see Mike Gartner skate a lap, I have a feeling he could be in the 30 second range due to his current condition program consisting of three daily reps of Double Doubles from Tim Hortons.  This event probably should remain the same format, after the NHL tried a new format that flopped last year with a timed skate from the goal lines, instead of the traditional full lap.

Breakaway Challenge:
Ovechkin won with a little help from his Russian counterpart.  Click here if you haven’t seen it.

How the NHL can improve it:
This new event was a great idea on paper, but didn’t seem to pan out all that well.  Ovechkin’s attempt was entertaining, but the fact he wasn’t able to pull anything off that was too crazy was a bit of a letdown.  As Illegal Curve has suggested beforehand, a modified game of Horse could be a cool idea.  Anyone else out there have any ideas?

Accuracy Shooting:
Malkin won going 3 for 4 in a tie-breaker against Heatley.

How the NHL can improve it:
Nothing wrong with the usual, but for goodness sakes is the NHL that desperate for cash that they need to sell ad space to McDonald’s on the four targets?

Elimination Shootout:
Doan won in a tie-breaker against Hedjuk and Savard.

How the NHL can improve it:
This event seemed a bit repetitive after the Breakaway Challenge, but was more or less entertaining.  Maybe the league can reduce the number of players taking part in this event, since by the time Mike Komisarek came up to take his turn as the 20 something shooter, George Gillette was already passed out head first in his nachos.

YoungStars Game:
Apparently the Rookies won 9-5 over the Sophomores.

How the NHL can improve it:
This game was all-around brutal.  To top it off the fact that it was played in the middle of the Skills Competition completely ruined any momentum that was established from the Breakaway Challenge.  How about playing it at the very beginning of the night, so I can finish watching a re-run of North of 60 on Showcase next time?  On second thought, maybe getting rid of it entirely isn’t a bad idea.

As for the the game Itself:

The first thing I want to say about the game, is that there is no way it should be held outdoors.  People were falling asleep watching the first two and a half periods from the cozy confines of the Bell Centre, so I can’t imagine people wanting to stay outside with a crazy windchill just to watch Sheldon Souray look pretty.  The game got pretty interesting near the end with the East winning in a shootout thanks to a nice Kovalev shot, but no doubt the highlight of the weekend was Ron MacLean’s annual interview with Gary Bettman.  To my delight, Bettman only touched MacLean’s arm twice during the interview but still remains one of the most despised league figureheads.  Alan Eagleson is a saint compared to Bettman.

Despite being a glorified game of pond hockey, the fact remains that the All-Star Game still sells out each year and gives the NHL a chance to promote its stars so it shouldn’t be completely abolished.  Joe Thornton’s idea of players playing not to submit a portion of their salaries into the escrow fund isn’t half bad either to spice things up a little.

To spice things up, the Skills Competition will now feature a breakaway elimination challenge. This will be the last event to take place and will pit all 36 skaters in a shootout competition.  Score and stay in, miss and go home.  The winning shooter will receive a grand prize of $5 in Canadian Tire money (you wish).

Another change this year is a revamped YoungStars Game.  The past couple of seasons, this game was absolutely brutal to watch as it was just a glorified game of shinny, with the chubby Phil Kessel being the only player to break a sweat.  Well get the deodorant out folks, since this year the game will feature NHL rookies against NHL sophomores in a game of three-on-three just how the NBA does it, to encourage players to actually try.  I Love This Game!

The most hyped up event will likely be the tweaked Scotiabank NHL Fan Fav Breakaway Challenge, where six players bring out their best tricks.  This year each shooter will have 1 minute to perform their schtick in the entire offensive zone as many times as possible, and fans can vote/text/send a singing telegram for their favourite player’s move.  If you recall from last year, Dominque Wilkins made an appearance as a guest judge for the event in Atlanta.  Who knows, maybe Tim Raines will show up this year in Montreal.  My six picks to enter the contest would be: Kovalev (have you seen this video?), Ovechkin, and Kovalchuk from the East and Datsyuk, Getzlaf, and Nash from the West.  Thoughts?  Darwin Head can fill in if need be.

Let’s not forget about the Bridgestone NHL Fastest Skater Competition.  Last year was the first year where the player’s time was measured from a straight distance, rather than for a full lap around the ice.  Although this format did more closely simulate game situations, the NHL has reverted back to the traditional format, which is basically a groin injury waiting to happen.

Other than that, the Accuracy Shooting and Hardest Shot events will remain the same.  Apparently for the first time in a while, certain players will be able to participate in the Skills Competition without having to play in the actual All-Star Game, but this is still to be confirmed.  Ahh the days of when Dave Manson was part of the Hardest Shot festivities.

Other media rumblings to pass your way courtesy of the Globe and Mail:

• With the recent deregulation of the Canadian TV sports industry, TSN2 will be able to amp up its live content.  Stay tuned for more live broadcasts of “Pub Night: Snookers and Darts” coming soon!

• The broadcast personnel for 2010 Olympic Hockey will consist of Cuthbert, Miller (play-by-play), McGuire, Ferraro (colour commentary), McKenzie, Pang (analysts), Duthie, Dutchie, Hodge, Landsberg, Hedger, Randorf (hosts), Dregger, and Rishaug (reporters) for CTV/TSN.  The Sportsnet crew will be Loubardias (play-by-play), Garrett (colour commentary), Millard, Kypreos (analysts), Taylor, Fay, Gaillard, Osmak (hosts), and Principe (reporter).  The only one who seems to be missing from this lineup is the often forgotten Mark Hebscher and his “Hebsie Awards”.  Bob Cole will surely be missed.

Grade: A+

• Flyers: 1970’s retro orange jerseys.  Love these jerseys, especially with the retro style white namebar on the back.  Next step: bring back the Cooperalls.

• Oilers: Retro Gretzky-era jerseys.  Definitely one of the best 3rd’s out there.  Even better are the retro style gear that the Oiler goalies wear while donning these jerseys.

Grade: A

• Sabres: Dark blue retro jersey, with the old Buffalo logo.  Glad to see that the Sabres moved away from the Donald Trump hair swoosh from their current jerseys, but I would have liked to see them use the original lighter blue version, without the current yellow piping.

• Blackhawks: Usual Blackhawk logo on black.  Although we have seen this jersey a few years back, it still looks pretty “Sharp”.

• Canadiens: The Habs will be wearing various retro jerseys through the year to commemorate their 100th anniversary.  If anyone has any problems with this, I’ll meet you at Schwartz’s and we can settle it over some smoked meat.

Grade: B+

• Penguins: Retro powder blue with circular Pens logo.  Same jersey we all saw at last year’s Winter Classic.

• Islanders: Retro 1980s jersey with minor modifications.  If retro is cool, then consider me Miles Davis.  Looks great, but I’m still holding out for the High Liner Fishsticks creative of yesteryear.

• Leafs: Retro jerseys that we have all seen before.  Terrible team, great jerseys.  4th jerseys soon to be unveiled feature Brian Burke’s face chewing on some Skoal.

Grade: B

• Bruins: Black jersey with a Bruin on the front.  Kind of cool looking, but nothing outrageous.  Definitely beats the Winnie the Poo jerseys from the much heralded Dmitri Khristich era.

• Senators: Arced “Sens” copy on front, on black with hints of red and white.  Love the colour scheme, hate the slang on the front.

• Sharks: Full body Shark on black.  Not bad, but the “SJ” on the shoulders looks like it says “SK” from a distance.  Hmmm, did Saskatoon native Drew Remenda have a say in that minor addition?

• Canucks: Retro blue “stick and rink logo”.  Cool idea to put the “Johnny Canuck” on the shoulder, but having another jersey the exact same colour as the current home jersey was a questionable decision.

Grade: C

• Hurricanes: Black jersey with normal secondary “hurricane warning” flag that appears on the shoulder now appearing on the chest.  Apparently it’s cool now to just slap a logo on a black background.  Similar colour to the Sens makes it look awkward.

• Stars: The word Dallas appearing on a white jersey.  Looks ok, but I’m pretty sure Brett Hull and Darryl Reaugh drew this basic design together on a cocktail napkin after a few shots of JD and a couple of smokies.

• Kings: A new shield logo appearing on Gretzky-era Kings colours.  Shield kind of blows, but cool colour scheme.

• Blues: Circular St. Louis arch logo on dark blue.  Pretty simple, but nothing too exciting.  At least they didn’t go back to the weird looking musical note design from the mid 90s.

Grade: D

• Thrashers: Maroon jersey with arced “Thrashers” copy on the front.  Looks like they are wearing maroon pinnies a la grade 8 gym class.

• Lightning: Bolts copy on front on blue.  Both this team and its jerseys are a joke.

Grade: F

• Coyotes: Full-body coyote on front on black.  Coyote on the front looks like a shaved-rat.  This team needs to move away.

Agree or disagree with anything?  Comments below please.

In the first campaign, the NHL has launched the “Live Every Shift (Is This the Year?)” campaign, featuring four individual national TV spots with Sidney Crosby, Henrik Lundqvist, Pat Kane, Dion Phaneuf, plus one multi-player spot, each airing nationally on CBC, TSN, RDS, Versus and NHL Network.   Each spot features a still image of the player, with the player “coming to life” and hyping up the 2008-2009 season.  The spot with Crosby and his fellow Pens seems to stand out the most, with an image of his dejected teammates taking a knee after their loss to the Wings in the last year’s Stanly Cup finale.  Ads also appear as point-of-purchase displays and in print.   Teams have also created local spots that have been airing on local networks, with each team’s star players.  To view the five national spots, click on these links below:

Crosby

Lundqvist

Kane

Phaneuf

Various players

The second component focuses on the new looking NHL.com, promoting all of its new bells and whistles.  Spots currently in market feature puck bunny Carrie Milbank approach Eddie Olczyk and Barry Melrose about NHL.com’s new live scoring features and updates, plus she stops by the Staal sod farm in Thunder Bay, Ontario, for a little meet and greet.  Click here for a clip of the Melrose spot

Finally, the third phase focuses on NHL Centre Ice, the NHL’s $200 a year pay-per-view service.  This represents the NHL’s attempt to increase the popularity of a previously weak selling service, with a national campaign mix of print, radio, and TV mediums across Canada and the U.S.  It is quite apparent with the lack of the pay-per-view service’s popularity, since hardly any ads air during the service’s programming.  In prior years, most local ads on the network were overridden with generic ads such as for Monster.com.  Over the last few years however, due to a lack of advertising support, all local network ads can be seen.  This isn’t actually the end of the world, since those snappy Geico ads always get a chuckle and did allow me save a lot of money on my car insurance.

Is it true that Gary Bettman is in fact the highly touted “marketing genius” that we were supposed to get when he came over from the NBA?  Probably not, but regardless, the NHL should be commended for once by coming out with an integrated marketing campaign that speaks to its target audience, and focuses on the future and potential of the league with its young stars.  In other words, don’t expect a national Owen Nolan campaign to be in market any time soon.

Breaking news: Blackhawks games will finally be televised this season!  You can now safely throw away that ham radio of yours.  If you do manage to tune into Hawks games this season, you’ll be able to see Eddie O team up with the long time voice of the Blackhawks, Pat Foley.  Foley is hilarious – not funny “ha ha” more funny like “did that senile old man just say that?”  If you don’t believe me, you need to check out this clip of Pat Foley ripping Alexander Karpotsev.

Atlanta Thrashers: JP Dellacamera (play-by-play) and Darren Eliot (colour)

Both Dellacamera and Elliot are two of the biggest Thrasher homers out there.  Correction: they are the only two Thrasher homers out there.  The local Thrasher broadcasts are simply worth checking out for comedic value.  According to Elliot, Kovalchuk will easily win the Selke this season, and Slava Kozlov’s career is just peaking at the ripe age of 38.

Columbus: Jeff Rimer (play-by-play) and Danny Gare (colour)

Unlike the Dallas Stars, the Blue Jackets aren’t exactly a dominating team, but who needs that when you have such a great tandem in the broadcasting booth.  For the one Panthers fan out there, you may remember Rimer when he was calling Panthers games back in the Ivan Novoseltsev glory days.  Although Danny Gare is about three times the size as he was when he played for the Sabres, the two make a great team and both drink the Ken Hitchcock endorsed “defense first” Kool Aid.

Carolina Hurricanes: John Forslund (play-by-play) and Tripp Tracy (colour)

Forslund’s patented catchphrase of “Hey hey whattya say?” is a must see for all hockey fans out there.  Carolina’s offense should be booming this season, as the many ‘Canes fans can attest to – columnist Drew Mindell found this out the hard way this past Summer.

Dallas Stars: Ralph Strangis (play-by-play) and Darryl Reaugh (colour)

Before you read this paragraph, you need to check out Darryl Reaugh’s blog.  Seriously…click here. By the look of his picture, Reaugh may be a Panache model during his spare time.  You may remember Reaugh’s schtick from the early EA Sports NHL games, and the former goalie’s antics have not changed.  Not only is Reaugh hilarious, but the Stars are a good team and could take the Pacific division crown this year.

For full TSN2 details, read the article here.

As for other happenings in the media world this past week:

Marc Crawford was nabbed up by the CBC, and is looking for a partner.  Although I’m not sure what his “lifestyle” choices are away from the rink, a play-by-play man is needed at CBC to work beside him.  According to sources, at this point it is rumoured that he will be working with Mark Lee for the late games this year, but that is subject to change.  Bob Cole and Greg Millen will likely call the early Leafs games, with Jim Hughson and Craig Simpson getting more exposure calling the early games that are nationally distributed.  This is of course assuming that no one other than in Leaf Land would want to watch such a miserable team.  Hmmm…I wonder why the Love Guru tanked at the box office?

Pierre LeBrun will also be on CBC this year, leaving his Sportsnet duties.  Look for LeBrun to make his return to the already crammed Hotstove, as well as the popcorn shrimp buffet across the street from Hockey Night’s Toronto studio.  Let’s hope LeBrun doesn’t have any wardrobe malfunctions during his triumphant homecoming.

Ray Ferraro

As discussed, Ray “Chicken Parm” Ferraro is the favourite to fill Milbury’s shoes based on his experience being the colour guy for the Oilers on Sportsnet, and working on NBC.  The fact that he has been able to survive several seasons of hearing “Shawn Horcoff….overtime winner!” being screamed in his ear by Kevin Quinn says a lot about his focus and dedication.  He may even be able to withstand working with both Pierre’s inflated voice and ego.  In all seriousness, despite his mild lisp, Ferraro and NHL on TSN host James Duthie should have chemistry equivalent to that of Ferarro and Donald Audette in the late 90′s.  (It’s only July and I’ve already had to dig into the vault and make a Donald Audette reference.  This could be a long season).

Marc Crawford

Speaking of chemistry, I would rather spend my leisure time next season determining the molecular structure of polypropylene than listening to Crawford’s squeaky voice on TV.  The ex-coach with a Dan Cloutier fetish, and best known for once making fun of Scotty Bowman’s metal plate in his head, is best suited behind the bench.  Besides, the last time Crawford thought he was saying something insightful, he told the ref to put Ray Bourque in the shootout over Gretzky.

Larry Murphy

Many people might be wondering how on Earth Larry Murphy fits into this equation.  He does have some broadcasting experience, and currently is the colour guy on FSN Detroit.  However, Murphy only works Detroit games when the Wings are on west coast road trips, so regular colour guy Mickey Redmond can focus on his true passion: whiskey.  I wish I was kidding.

In summary, this year Ferraro will win the new gig at TSN, Crawford will be the coach for the AHL’s Iowa Chop’s with Cloutier between the pipes, and Murphy will work 10 Red Wings games this year and eat 72 slices of Little Caesar’s Pizza when the Wings aren’t on the west coast.

Analysis: Cole is old and senile. It should be Jim Hughson’s time to shine. Although Cole’s work this year has been better than in previous seasons, Hughson is the superior announcer. Axing Harry Neale from the finals is a smart move, although Millen will likely have worn out his welcome by the time the second period of game three rolls around.

Great work yesterday by Hughson and Garry Galley during the Sens game. Besides Hughson mixing up Meszaros with Commodore a couple of times (Meszaros wears 14 and Commodore wears 44), it was an impressive effort. More impressive than the Sens’ effort that’s forsure. I started to hyperventilate when Hughson called Commodore’s name during a Sens’ 5 on 3. If the CBC shows all the scratched and injured Sens sulking in the press box one more time I might snap. Why can’t they just show us a fat Mario Lemieux eating poutine in his private box like the good old days. I’d even take an interview with Ryan Malone’s father, talking about his son growing up in Pittsburgh and playing the role of hometown hero, than seeing another shot of Luke Richardson drinking a Bud Lite.

On a completely unrelated note, TSN revamped its entire website to correspond with the start of the 2008 Stanley Cup Playoffs. No word yet if Bob McKenzie put some liposuction or at least a couple botox injections on the TSN corporate account, to coincide with TSN.ca’s new look.