Poolies Going Off the Deep End

Posted by Ari in Columns,Frozen Assets on April 16, 2009 — 2 Comments

I’m in two playoff pools, and even though the pools were very different, many of the characters were the same. Do you recognize any of these characters from your playoff pool?

The Homer

This is the person that takes Daniel Sedin second overall and Alex Burrows in the third round. We get it, you’re a superfan. You can often recognize them by their team jersey and matching zubaz pants. Thanks for your money.

The Comedian

This guy has a “hilarious” opinion about every player and an equally hilarious opinion about why his picks are better than yours. You are so funny, I was trying to draft Fedor Fedorov not Sergei Fedorov.

The Expert

This person is the comedian minus the comedy. For whatever reason, they are convinced that their biases are superior to everyone else’s. You’ll recognize this person when you pick Cam Barker and they say “why didn’t you pick Duncan Keith, he averages almost seven more minutes of TOI?”

The Antsy Pants

“Hurry up”, “you haven’t gone yet?”, “just take someone” and of course “ten, nine, eight, seven…” are common utternaces of the antsy pants. Will almost always wind up fighting with the deliberator.

The Deliberator

In the first round they are debating between Crosby and Malkin, and in the sixteenth round they are debating between Byron Bitz and Travis Moen. To quote the antsy pants “just go already, it doesn’t matter!”

The Oracle

This person knows who is going to win each series in advance, and will never pick a player on one of those teams. Why didn’t you pick any Devils? “I just don’t see them beating the Canes” is the response. Need more proof? Don’t worry, they have a “gut feeling”.

The Student

This person is staring at their lists like they are John Nash from the movie A Beautiful Mind. What is the sheet telling you? Please, lighten up and make your picks. Stop studying how long Tomas Kopecky’s shifts are.

The Positive Influence

After every pick – “oh great pick” or “nice one”. Thanks for your support. Your approval means so much to me.

Which one of these are you? Have any other categories that poolies fall into?

Ari’s Pool Advice

I have two tips to help you win your pool.

1. Ari’s number one rule of gambling – The People Setting the Lines Know More Than You

Maybe you think you have some innate power to pick winners or an ability to see into the future, but it is more likely that you are letting your biases get the better of you. Not sure who is going to win a series? Check out the “series prices” posted at your friendly neighbourhood online sportsbook. If they think a team is favoured, so should you.

2. Take Who You’re Given

Drafting with a bunch of Flames fans? There will probably be Blackhawks left when there shouldn’t be. If you don’t think the Hawks will win, see rule #1. Wanted a Red Wing in round 1 but are picking 11th? Don’t settle for Franzen if a top player from a good team is available.

  • http://www.illegalcurve.com Richard

    Tremendous post

  • http://www.illegalcurve.com Neil

    I can safely say I am a mixture between a “Deliberator” and a “Student”, complete with a full injury report.