The HD Corner – Stanley Cup Final Preview

Posted by Neil in The HD Corner on May 24, 2008 — 3 Comments

Due to the overwhelming success of my recent preview, the editors at Illegal Curve thought it was only fitting that I do another preview, this time of the two networks broadcasting the Stanley Cup final. The following is a comparison of CBC’s broadcast team against NBC’s (Versus has games 1 and 2, while NBC will cover the rest using predominantly the same personalities). Now let’s get this party started.

Play by Play
Bob Cole vs. Doc Emrick
Bob Cole will call the action for CBC, and Doc Emrick will man the mike for NBC. Great Scott!!!…Doc wins this battle. Emrick’s calling duties are always dead-on, and he never seems to play favorites, unlike Cole’s fetish with the Maple Leafs. Look for Cole to be rooting for fellow Maritimer Sid the Kid and the Pens during this matchup.
Edge: Dock Emrick of NBC

Colour Commentary
Greg Millen vs. Eddie Olczyk
Annoying Greg Millen goes up against Eddie Olczyk here. Although Eddie O does NBC and Versus studio work, he also takes part in colour duties periodically. The former productive NHLer and Pens coach brings a tremendous amount of enthusiasm, but will sway his vote towards the Pens. Millen on the other hand was a terrible NHL goalie, but does bring some interesting insight from seeing so many pucks go in through is five-hole. If this was any other series, Eddie O would get the nod, but due to his penchant for cheering for the Pens, I regrettably give this category to Millen.
Edge: Greg Millen of CBC

Best Jewish Personality
Elliotte Friedman vs. Pierre McGuire
Rumoured to be partially of the Jewish faith, I’m hard pressed to admit that there is a possibility Pierre and I could share a bowl of borscht at a downtown Montreal deli someday. He is so annoying and pompous, that he makes it an easy decision to tune into CBC. Elliotte Friedman on the other hand is a real mench, with great sideline reports throughout the series, and a history of asking the tough questions. And no, I don’t mean him asking “why is this night different from any other night?” twice a year.
Edge: Elliotte Friedman of CBC

Most Colourful
Don Cherry vs. John Vanbiesbrouck
Donald S’s crazy suits give him the edge in this category alone, not to mention his brief run-in with the 10 second audio delay on Coach’s Corner back in the day. His wit, coaching insight, and love of all things Canadian makes him a must see every night of the playoffs. Now onto the Beezer….The editors at Illegal Curve will have a conniption if I make this next joke about his colourfulness. Let’s just give the edge to Grapes and be done with it.
Edge: Don Cherry of CBC

Most Likely to have your Back in a Brawl
Scott Oake vs. Christine Simpson
You don’t want to mess with Scott Oake and his towering 6’9” frame, the Zdeno Chara of the CBC broadcasting team. Despite his hair plugs being quite obvious when seen in HD, his mammoth hands alone would crush anyone that tried to tell him that the Jets aren’t someday coming back to his hometown. For NBC, the ever-so manly Christine Simpson could definitely drink NBC studio host Bill Clement under the table, and also uses less hair spray than her cocky brother and CBC competitor, Craig. Scott Oak wins for his custom tailored Moore’s suits.
Edge: Scott Oake of CBC

Final Verdict:
CBC gets the nod. Let the games begin!

  • Andrew M

    If my Moccassin Flats comment was edited out (censorship alert!), then you are definitely right about not being able to make your beezer joke.

  • Ezra Ginsburg

    Quite simply, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read.

  • Amrit

    Good stuff, but I never see Eddie O cheer the Pens on. He predicted the Wings to win and he’s actually pretty good on Versus.

    He sucks on his local broadcast (which I think is Chicago.)